Baby Rathert: So Nicki, you're 31 weeks pregnant now? It's got to be getting more uncomfortable now, right?
Nicki: Well Baby Rathert Blog Reporterman, I'm so tired right now I can barely keep my eyes open. I've had about one decent night's sleep in the past 5 and, in general, feel like I'm carrying a cannonball in my stomache at all time.
BR: A cannonball, whoa. That's some serious ammunition there. Seriously, though, how big is the little guy by now?
Nicki: He's pineapple sized! I found this horrible picture of what that would look like if he were actually a pineapple.
BR: Guhh!! That is awful. He doesn't actually look like that, though, right?
Nicki: No. Well, less hair probably.
BR: I think that will haunt my nightmares for some time.
Nicki: Yeah, get over it. You don't have to look forward to pushing that pineapple man-thing out of you in 9 weeks. I'm getting really ready for Henry to be here, but I'm still scared of actually getting him here.
BR: Next question. Which hospital will you be delivering at? There are at least 3 hospitals to choose from here in the jungles of Peoria, how did you decide.
Nicki: That was easy! We're going to Methodist because it's the only place Ben's insurance covers! Seriously, though, I've been up to Labor and Delivery lots of times to visit Ben on call, and the nurses seem really nice and friendly. Ben even gave me a guided tour of a delivery room so I'll know a little bit more about what to expect.
BR: Interesting. This Ben fellow you mention, he sounds devilishly handsome. He's the father of your son-to-be?
Nicki: Yeah, this is his fault.
BR: Right, right. And how are your families doing in support of you being so pregnant right now?
Nicki: Right now? I don't know, watching the news? It's about 9 p.m. But they've been great really. My parents are really looking forward to the big day, and my step-mom about cries every time she sees my belly. Ben's parents and sister are a lot of support too. I really couldn't ask for more from anyone!
BR: That's great! As I understand it, Mrs. Rathert, you're very into the "hippie mother" thing as you call it. What can you tell us about that?
Nicki: I don't call it that.
BR: Really? We have dependable sources who say you do. We have one person who says, and I quote, "Nicki's a total hippie. Like hemp underwear. Seriously." What do you have to say about that?
Nicki: Nothing. You obviously just made that up. There's no such thing as hemp underwear anyway. Seriously, though, my homemade cloth diapers are really coming along. I've made 11 so far and they're getting better and better! If that makes me a hippie so be it. Oh, and breastfeeding. I'm way into that. Henry's going to be one healthy little guy, if I have anything to say about it!
BR: Well kudos to you! How does Ben feel about all this?
Nicki: Fine. He's pretty excited about not making a lot of diaper trash, and he does a lot of the laundry now, so I don't think an extra load every day will change much. Besides, he's way into saving money, and this should all help toward that. Plus, breastfeeding is proven to be of invaluable benefit to little scampers, or so Ben tells me. I mostly leave the medicine up to him.
BR: Sure you do.
Nicki: What?
BR: Nothing. Moving on to our final question tonight, what are you most looking forward to right now, when Henry gets here?
Nicki: Hmm... probably cuddling with him. He gets to be all snug up inside me and I don't even get to hold him or smell him or anything. Whoa, serious mommy moment there. I just like how babies smell, so I imagine my own little guy will smell even better. That and taking him to the zoo eventually. I bet he'll really like the giraffes and such.
BR: Aw yeah, I bet so! Well the last boat up the river will be leaving soon, so I'd better get moving so I don't miss it. I understand you folks have some very dangerous predators around here.
Nicki: Oh yeah. Terrible. Our people say they are fueled by hormones they can't control. They also say they look a lot like me. Which makes no sense, I have no memory of this.
BR: I...see...
Nicki: You haven't seen the movie "The Relic" have you?
BR: No. That'll about wrap it up! Until next time Nicki!
Nicki: (only a low pitched growling noise can be heard)
haha this is funny. i can't tell if you actually interviewed Nicki or just made her part up. or completely embellished if she was half asleep?
ReplyDeleteFor the record, he made up my part. I was sort of "supervising", but mostly asleep :)
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